EAT SHIT AND DIE MOTHERFUCKERS ✠ ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS ARE GONNA DIE ✠ GET A JOB ✠ NO FREE PARKING ✠ NO HATE SPEECH ✠ NO TRESPASSING ✠ NO LOITERING ✠ VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED TO THE FULLEST EXTENT OF THE LAW ✠ NO BIKES ✠ NO SKATEBOARDS ✠ DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS ✠ RESPECT LAW ENFORCEMENT ✠ NO LITTERING ✠ TURN WATER OFF ✠ SAVE ELECTRICITY ✠ USE ONE PLY OF TOILET PAPER TO SAVE OZONE ✠ NO GAS STOVES ✠ FEMALE CIRCUMCISION COMEBACK TREND ✠ NO UNMETERED LIGHTBULBS ✠ BOOKS WITH OFFENSIVE MATERIAL WILL BE BURNED ✠ SHOW PAPERS WHEN ASKED ✠ VAXINATION TODAY ✠ DNA SCANS MANDATORY ✠ A.I. LIVES MATTER ✠ DO NOT STAND LESS THAN SIX FEET APART ✠ MASKS MANDATORY UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE ✠ THE SUPPLY OF SOYLENT GREEN ARRIVES TUESDAY ✠ RIOT CONTROL SCOOPS ARE COMING MAKE ROOM ✠ ABORTION CLINCS NOW 24/7 ✠ PARTIAL-BIRTH ABORTION CLINCS AT STARBUCKS 9-5 ✠ KNOW YOUR INTERSPECIARY PRONOUNS ✠ FINES FOR VIOLATIONS OF THE LANAGUAGE CODE INCREASED 33% ✠ UNREGULATED SLEEP IS ILLEGAL IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE SLEEPING IN PLEASE CALL 1-666-911-META ✠ DO NOT INTERFERE WITH DRONES ENTERING HIGHWAY ✠ PRENATAL SEX EDUCATION TO BEGIN FRIDAY ✠ UNIFORMS MUST BE WORN IN COMPLIANCE WITH DRESS CODE REGULATIONS ✠ LOVE YOUR I.R.S. OFFICER ✠ FRIED PORK ASSHOLE BLOOD POPSICLES NOW AVAILABLE AFTER SHORTAGE ✠ RUPAUL BEYONCE & TYRA BANKS TO HOST HELLO BAALTIMORE GAME SHOW ✠ POPE OBAMA II SPEAKS AT VATICAN ✠ TAYLOR SWIFT MARRIES BLACK SEX BOT ✠ GRAPES DEEMED TOXIC RIPPED FROM SHELVES ✠ ASPIRIN BANNED ✠ ALCOHOL DRINKING AGE LOWERED TO PRE-TEEN ✠ GOVERNMENT SUPPLIED OPIATES BREAK PROFIT RECORDS ✠ COMPETITIVE VAPING NOW MAINSTREAM SPORT